01 September 2014

Terror at London Bridge (1985)
96 min.
Directed by E.W. Swackhamer.
With David Hasselhoff, Stepfanie Kramer, Randolph Mantooth, Adrienne Barbeau, Clu Gulager, Rose Marie, Lindsay Bloom, Ken Swofford, Paul Rossilli.
Languid TV horror.

Brick by brick, London Bridge is being relocated to a small Arizona town. But when the final cornerstone is laid, the murderous spirit of Jack the Ripper is unleashed upon the unsuspecting tourist community (don't ask why or how).

Soon, psycho Jack is recreating his slashing Whitechapel days with zest, fervor and via a straight razor!

Uninspired and by the numbers, this tele terror is hampered by generic turns from leads Hasselhoff and Kramer and a pervasive spirit of blandness. Would have been significantly better had Mantooth and Barbeau been cast as the leads themselves.

Not much else to recommend this, but there *is* a nifty shot of the dead Adrienne floating down river. So if your idea of a good time is seeing dull detective Hasselhoff figure out the plot 45 minutes after you have, seek it out.

Otherwise, skip it.

Also known either as Arizona Ripper or as Bridge Across Time.

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