20 April 2014

The Reincarnation of Isabel (1973)
98 min.
Directed by Renato Polselli.
With Mickey Hargitay, Rita Calderoni, Raul Lovecchio, Christa Barrymore, Consolata Moschera, William Darni, Marcello Bonini, Fanfoni Vittorio, Stefania Fassio.
Catastrophically bad. Mind-numbingly dull. Incomprehensibly incomprehensible.

In the 14th century, poor Isabel (Calderoni) is accused of being a witch, and promptly burned at the stake.

Flash forward five centuries. To celebrate her recent engagement, lovely Laureen (also played by Calderoni) has gathered her family, friends and some assorted weird eccentrics to a creepy gothic castle.

One of the revellers is Jayne Mansfield's bodybuilder ex-husband Mickey Hargitay. But we digress..

At any rate, Laureen's party is destined for a difficult time.

Seems there's this Satanic cult in the nearby village, and they're intent on resurrecting Isabel from her 500 year old tomb. All they need is some virgin blood, and they'll be good to go.

Problem is, virgin blood might be really hard to find in Laureen's randy group.

Still, faster than you can find an evangelist guilty of moral impropriety, the partygoers are attacked by the Satanists in the hopes that they'll get enough maiden juice to revive their beloved Isabel.

**Whew. We should get a $500 tax rebate just for attempting to summarize this Italian-made stinker.**

Inept on nearly every level, it remains to be seen whether director Polselli's Reincarnation of Isabel is better or worse than his abysmal 1972 giallo Delirium.

Watch at your own risk.

Italian: Riti, magie nere e segrete orge nel trecento.

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