19 April 2014

Neon Maniacs (1985)
91 min.
Directed by Joseph Mangine.
With Alan Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke, Victor Elliot Brandt.
Typical mid '80s horror: weak plot, no suspense and no style to back it all up. Little watchability.

In San Francisco, a group of mutant zombies live hidden under the Golden Gate Bridge and emerge each night to terrorize the city's youth.

Only one thing can destroy these supernatural posers: a blast of fresh, cool water. Or rain.

Seriously.

A pair of local high schoolers uncover the existence of this undead posse of 'neon maniacs' and hope they can get the cops to believe their story...before it's too late.

Although basically a snooze fest, this has surprisingly decent acting from likable leads Hayes and Sarelle and, to its credit, lacks the sarcastic edge prevalent in most entries from this era.

Still, this wannabe Hills Have Eyes and Dawn of the Dead hybrid is woefully underdeveloped and, as such, can only play out as a cartoon: a series of broad, colorful strokes that flash upon the screen and then disappear from memory.

Warning: contains a stalwart gag of the '80s, the severed (but still animated) limb.

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