22 December 2014

Microwave Massacre (1979)
75 min.
Directed by Wayne Berwick.
With Jackie Vernon, Loren Schein, Al Troupe, Marla Simon, Claire Ginsberg, Lou Ann Webber, Anna Marlowe, Cindy Gant.
This is one poor cannibal horror/comedy.

Fed up with the gourmet cooking his wife serves on a regular basis, middle aged construction worker Donald (Vernon) goes bananas and kills his longtime spouse.

Yeah, you read that right: a guy kills his wife because he can't stand her cooking.

Then, he dismembers her and noshes on her various body parts!

Energized by his crimes, Donald soon begins a killing spree, offing unfortunate women who then do double duty as his lunch of choice.

Some limp humor punctuates the action of Microwave Massacre - all of it pretty low brow, and none of it very funny anyhow.

Veteran comedian Jackie Vernon (the voice of TV's original Frosty the Snowman from 1969) does the best he can with the mildewy material.

But ultimately, there's no two ways of slicing and dicing it: Microwave is a dud frozen dinner not even worth zapping.

Skip it unless you're a masochist.

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