19 December 2014

The Majorettes (1986)
92 min.
Directed by Bill Hinzman.
With Kevin Kindlin, Terrie Godfrey, Mark Jevicky, Sueanne Seamens, Denise Huot, Carl Hetrick, Mary Jo Limpert, Harold Keller, Tom Desrocher, Jacqueline Bowman.
Limp baton bloodletting.

In a small town, a madman in camoflauge stalks and kills members of the high school majorettes team one by one.

Could the psycho be the local drug dealer? Or a slow witted groundskeeper who secretly snaps candids of the busty gals in the school showers?

Who cares. The Majorettes is a weak slasher devoid of any tension, boasts atrocious acting all around and features some of the plainest looking 'beauties' this side of the Rio Grande.

The constipated pace is helped little by a weird inheritance subplot; the lackluster murders seem to try and channel the best of The Prowler...but fail.

The ho hum revelation of the killer forces this one into a downward actioner spiral from which you'll howl "Stop the twirling, I want off!"

Also known as One by One. For slasher obsessives only.

The best thing about this lackluster effort is its tagline: "Sis, Boom, Blood. You're Dead!"

And that's saying a lot.

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