16 April 2014

Don't Open till Christmas (1984)
86 min.
Directed by Edmund Purdom.
With Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake, Belinda Mayne, Gerry Sundquist, Kelly Baker, Caroline Munro.
This slipshod holiday slasher from Britain certainly won't win any awards for excellence.

It's Christmastime in London, and the UK capital finds itself terrorized by a very unfestive nutjob who doesn't like Santa Claus, reindeer or mistletoe in the least bit.

How so? Well, it seems that any and everyone who dons Saint Nick's famous red & white threads ends up stabbed, strangled, cleavered or electrocuted!

'Tis the season, indeed.

After her father becomes one of the Claus-hatin' killer's many victims, grief-stricken daughter Kate (Mayne) teams up with Scotland Yard Inspector Harris (Purdom) to unravel the case.

This 1984 yuletide hackathon plays out like a sampled exercise in mid '80s mediocrity, with a few feisty kills dotting a landscape of bland characters and uninspired plotting.

From the producer of Pieces (1983) and Slaughter High (1986), this undistinguished offering coulda been so much more.

Still, it does bestow two questionable gifts: a bizarre singing cameo from genre regular Munro, and one poor Santa who gets a nasty face-searing via a plate of hot coals.

copyright 1998-present | The Terror Trap; www.terrortrap.com | all rights reserved