23 November 2014

Deadly Lessons (1983)
85 min.
Directed by William Wiard.
With Donna Reed, Larry Wilcox, Ally Sheedy, Diane Franklin, David Ackroyd, Donald Hotton, Deena Freeman, Vicki Kriegler, Bill Paxton, Krista Errickson.
Tepid TV thriller about an exclusive girls finishing school stalked by an unseen killer.

The young women of Starkwater Hall are arrogant, privileged, spoiled...and the targets of a marauding psycho out to thin their ranks one by one.

Could the culprit be the withered old John Carradine-lookalike groundskeeper? How about frigid headmistress Reed? (note: the screen vet tries her best here, but can't do much to save this sinking ship).

Or is embittered horse groomer Paxton the killer? Who cares.

Police investigator Larry Wilcox (of CHIPS fame) tries to navigate through the deadening boredom, uh, we mean 'mystery' - but even he seems disinterested and unmotivated.

Surprisingly, the presence of spunky brat packer Sheedy can't liven things up, and lead Franklin is about as charismatic as a butternut squash - and about as watchable.

TV horror aficionados may seek this one out, but all others will find this bland and bloodless slasher wannabe a real disappointment.

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